When I started this blog over 9 months ago I was totally motivated and then failure. I failed the group I had joined, miserably... I quit going, I gained, it was ridiculous. There is that sabotage thing again... yay. I have stopped seeing the nutritionist, mainly out of shame. I was doing pretty well, lose a little, maintain, gain, lose... it was a slow process. Time became a factor and I quit. Where has that gotten me? Right back to square F-ING one. Right now, I am just angry. I cannot even start to think about the disappointment. I was on a pretty good roll there too... almost to pregnancy weight for NJ.
My clothes are tighter than ever, I have zero energy, workouts don't exist. What is it? Do I not want it bad enough? Is it that I just don't care? WHAT??? Why can I not figure this out? What do I need to do? It seems like it should not be this hard but fail after fail after fail... what can I do?
I guess I will start by stopping... stop beating myself up, stop the pitty train, get off, pick myself up and go.
Small successes: I have quit diet coke completely. It wasn't easy at first but now I can have one occasionally and not crave. It is great. Quitting diet coke though, is when I started to really gain... hmmm.... I am not going back though so I will just have to figure that one out.
I did my first ever official 5K. It was a total blast and I am inspired but it is a slow process. I walked yesterday and did 15 minutes of a crappy yoga video today, I guess that is better than nothing. Some movement is better than none, right!
And I leave you with this picture from the 5K... The Santa Hustle.
Me with FLT... many more of these events in our future!!
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