a little faith, please!

I was watching my usual favorite show last night (from the DVR), the biggest loser and of course there were the usual breakdowns about why these people are so fat.  This prompted me to start pondering my why.  I have thought about this many times and since I am not a general excuse maker it is difficult for me to find the why for my overweight-ness.... except that I love food and I love to eat.  My mom is a food pusher and has her own food issues but no one makes me put food in my mouth.  I do that all by myself.  My dad was and still is an emotional abuser, do I eat to cope?  I am not really sure.... These things I do know to be true:

• I eat when I am bored.
• I have a very hard time resisting sweets.
• If something tastes good (ie dinner) I eat all of it, even if I am stuffed.

So, what then?  These are things I need to overcome, sure.  But as I sat there pondering the real questions hit me.  Why am I STILL fat??  Why can I not lose weight and keep it off?  Maybe I do need to address the how in how I got here but I do have all the tools to lose yet I don't.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I don't think I can do it.  I don't think I'll ever get there so I sabotage.  This is something I have known for a long time, I see pics of people who have done it... I get all inspired and then I think... I will never get there.  That will never be me.  Then the damage and the undoing begins.  It starts small with some overeating but then turns into straight binge.  For days.  Is it that all I need is a little faith?  I get tons of encouragement from friends but I need to have faith in myself.  I need to keep telling myself that I CAN do this!!  I CAN DO THIS! 

My latest inspirational blog Runs for Cookies takes pictures of the scale every week with feet.  I love this idea so here goes...

yes I need a pedi, it is January, cut me a break!

So here's to faith!  Until next time... :)